My name is Gretchen and I'm a big ol' mess. It's okay though: messy people are my favorite. If you refuse to cry about your problems on the internet and bottle them up instead, disguising them with dark + inappropriate humor, congratulations. You're my people. We're going to get along just fine.
I’m a full-time mom, pregnant with my second, with a full-time job and an occasional bartender on weekends, who for some odd reason thinks she has spare time to run a small business. I don’t have spare time. But I do have an odd, relentless driving force constantly convincing me to do impossible things, so here I am doing it, baby. Gotta stay busy always. Probably a childhood trauma response, but who's judging?
I work my office job by day, keep my baby alive by night, and create ‘til I drop when I should be asleep. My husband thinks I’m a lunatic. He’s not wrong. And honestly, don’t be fooled by this sort-of-put-together-website. I’m currently writing this on two hours of sleep, fueled by lukewarm sugar-free red bull and 2006 Kanye, because this fire in me is both a blessing and a curse. There’s no time for cold caffeinated beverages when you’re busy making the world your bitch.
We are all the same. I drink my white claw while fist bumping to Macklemore/Kesha collabs like it’s my job. And maybe it should be.